Please help,
...managed to get out of my previous home,
was a 7+ years destructive cycle of misery, despair & psychosis,
a bit more and I had not been alive today.
Was unwilling at first and to ashamed
to ask them closest to me for help.
In the end, my own kids salvaged me out that existence
Now trying to restart again from scratch.
got myself an one room apartment with kitchen
Got the bare minimum to restart, still so much missing.
Still only have a pair of shoes, one pants and couple of shirts
To my already long list of syndromes such as Dysthymia,
anxiety disorder, socialfobia and other disorders,
as in my case, no cures, doctors say I just have to cope and live with
Im 52, I have no credit score and my working days are over,
basically Im screwed
and so new things keeps piling up, taking me away from relief & dreams.
Living of sick pension, here its existential minimum,
its for someone who already had a living,
not for one starting over or get back out of rock bottom.
Aftereffects of the misery I got severe form of edema,
is body cant retain the water to legs and feet swell up.
And as that was not enough,
I recently also got diagnosed diabetes type 2,
just one thing after another. Cant catch a break.
My overcreative side of me, yearns to escape & create,
get back being a creator again, but no avail yet.
I imagine myself creating free VR explorational and adventurous worlds
Ongoing evolving metaverses, social sandboxes to create safe havens,
its not to play the game, rather it is to live the game, a place to call home.
But as before, even more so now, I have to let all that go,
can not afford any of the tools or tech needed to keep up,
even though thats the remedy and medicine for everything.
My sick pension just keeps me barely alive, just soothing my illnesses.
I keep seeking help and donations, but 7 years of struggle Im getting tierd...
Can help donating trough paypal