and one to many near death experiences and no help from no one.
I was an alone child, escaping into fantasy and make believe,
This was pre-internet, well pre-anything
only two chairs with a blanket, handful of cardboard
I drew gauges,buttons and monitors,
with my own made maps and log book, Im off into the universe.
Im an extreme high sensitive and empathy type of person,
with an over creative mind that never stops,
sens I can remember always fallen asleep making up fantasies,
still do until this day, my mind never rest.
Now everything is against me,
life, economy, health, heart, faith and soul.
I lost everything, standing in ashes of my existence,
due to an extreme hard breakup, ended up in psychosis & near death
Now alone, been trying to find solutions for 3 years, its just getting worse.
Have no way out unless someone helps me.
Besides my 3 kids, being creative makes me happy,
reminds me being lead level designer 20 years ago.
all from being a youtube creator, streaming games or even making them,
but my working days is over & Im 47 years old.
Diagnosed chronic depression, general anxiety disorder etc etc etc
(doctors just say thats something I just have to live with)
Now barely surviving with sick pension,
have no credit score, cant borrow anything,
trying to get back to my dreams and passions
ontop of dealing with restarting once whole life
and build a home from scratch again,
only thing left is rely on kindness of others.
I miss most of my clothes, have like a one pants & clothes each,
a bare kitchen with not even plates to eat on
and a broken living room that I haven't used in years,
all just broken need to be replaced, not even got a working tv.
Just as the rest of my life, need to replace everything,
Depression is in full swing as I cant even invite my 3 kids to eat
or watch tv and play games, D&D or anything..
