..not much to update,
I continue to suffer my multi diagnosis and syndromes,
all stable for now, all from poverty to sickness and mentalhealth.
Working alone on my new indie VR free game in Unity.
Visited the grandparents grave today, my only connection to relatives.
Said some words for my dead mother and father to,
bought a long burning light to guide them.
I also started a gofundme
...Its a wonder Im still alive,
even more so, after a lifetime of countless near deaths sens child,
Polygraphy noxturnal report shows, during a night I loose breathe
like over 300 times, at times several minutes.
Diagnosed with worst type of sleeping apne disorder,
no wonder I have a heart murmur and a stroke,
had this my whole life. So now begins Cpap resmed 11 aid to sleep better.
Just tip of the ice berg, continue read below.
...here we go again, adding more to my troubles,
home again after treated from stroke,
first emergency ward and then had to sleep at the neruoclinic,
speech and some muscles affected.
All later tests cleared and good,
now time to train to get back to normal in midst of everything else...
...it just piling up,
trying to keep my multi diagnosis in check while
ontop having permanent edema and diabetes
now also extra heavy medicated and investigations for heart murmur,
was in the emergency room 3 times already.
If thats not enough my teeth is acting up cant afford it to fix it,
so just fuels all my already conditions.
Now the fucking state will start to foreclosure on my sick pension,
that is already strained by all extra monthly costs from all of the above,
to the point I cant not live for the month.
...yet another nosedive, real #Heart trouble,
two days on intensive emergency heart care,
health deteriorating #feelsbadman
losing everything...
//even had to make an emergency dental operation,
everything is piling up and now Im broke....
everything piling up, getting permanent and chronic,
its all from edema, diabetes to chronic depression, gad and more disorders.
Over ten types of medicines and remedies to add on to rest of my life, as it seems.
Now also deteriorating dental and heart issues, waiting for extensive referrals.
As doctors just states "there is something wrong" and leaves me with that.
Now the last slap in the face, also needed a apnea testing & solution,
the referral came today saying, I will get an appointment in 12 months.
...lot has changed, not necessarily for the better,
the chronic depression and rest of diagnoses does not go away,
still trapped in personal hell, constant warwithin, cant find escape or relief.
Got sponsored by the local care unit with an edema strain wraps system,
yet another thing I have to just live with for the rest of my life.
Slowly keeping my newly diagnoses of diabetes in check,
meds and more meds... Piles up with other symptoms like edema.
Aftermath of the total breakdown, suicide attempt and psychoses,
took living in misery for 7 years, then got help of my kids to break the circle,
changed apartment to start from scratch, most thrown away & clothes on my back.
Now still deteriorating health due not having relief and time to heal,
everything just piling up, already multiple persistent chronic disorders,
just something doctors say I have to balance and just live with...
Still alone trying to make a home for myself, restart my life,
get a social life back up to start heal for once.
Hopefully also get back being a creator again
One positive, gifted bit more clothes from my kids, sure warms my heart.
Part from begging on socialmedia during these 7 years,
recently also tried to have a gofundme, no avail there either.
As mentioned got zero credit score, living on existence minimum, sick pension.
My working days are over, just trapped, only way out is kindness of others.
I keep fighting alone in the dark, trying to reach out.
One way to help, let me have better tools to coop and create,
can gift buy trough Amazon
https://www.amazon.com/hz/wishlist/ls/1I7ZODE7PN4MT?ref_=wl_share
Also trough Amazon Sweden
https://www.amazon.se/hz/wishlist/ls/BBU3LJU2PS70?ref_=wl_share
There is also on the right ontop of the blog, links to my paypal and wiretransfer.