get back on my feet and start over,
build a home & have peace of mind.
Nothing more I can do but to pray and wait
so hard to try rely on others kindness alone...
My life is in shambles and rock bottom.
On top of already dealing with traumas
and long neverending unresolved issues and problems.
I sink further and further away from everything,
its my last outcry to get a footing and start over.
Due to a breakdown that lasted for years after a breakup,
tried suicide, broke my head and had a year of psychosis.
Manage by grace to pull myself out of it alone,
as a result Ive lost everything,
now standing in ruins all alone.
Now ready to startover but all is in ash,
not even plates to eat on
or for that matter nothing to even cook with.
All you take for granted I dont have anymore,
Got like pair of pants & one pair of shoes,
no television not even a micro or vacuum cleaner.
As im on sick pension only covers rent and basics.
The swedish state + social well fair wont help.
Have now chronic depression,
general anxiety disorder and more,
that doctors say I just have to live with.
Working days are over,
the pension is just for the basics to live,
not enough to start a whole new life with and start over.
Also no credit score so I cant take any forms of loans,
cant take out any form of credit cards either.
Even over a year of hard daily gym workout is gone,
was at my peak body,
now my obesity comes back with vengeance.
As im giving up more and more
resulting in suffering now also from edema
and backpains after just short walks,
getting sicker and sicker, just falling apart.
My 3 kids just have to see there father sink more and more.
Cant take them home or even do things with them anymore.
Ive tried it all, no way out as Im alone in this,
I was a good man and now
all just ending in either hospital, homeless or worse.
Always believe anything is possible,
Growing up, my imagination was my only escape to deal with my upbringing,
was the lonely kid who make-believe spaceships going on adventures alone.
Im an extreme over creative kind of person,
been dreaming and escaping my whole life,
When home computers came took it to another level,
Been gaming for over 40+ years, been my escape and medecin.
Its all the social life I have left, youtube & streaming
only thing makes me want to get up in the morning.
Always been the over creative type,
one time even been lead level designer for a game.
Now its hard to put passion into anything,
cant keep up, its to many costs, specially starting over.
Trying to get back into TwitchTv / Youtube
but everything just falling apart.
Ive cornered myself into a situation out of my control,
Its why I ask so much to get help,
rebuild my home to have solid ground,
start over and get back being creative
follow my given passions and dreams,
but specially for my 3 kids
that now just see there dad fall trough the cracks
Please help,
even small donation gives hope & food for the day !
Sign
Erik Andersson, Sweden
